对愚人节一直无感,

但四月一日这个日子,也算是一年当中重要的一天。

这一天的到来,意味着一年已过去了一季。

于是,匆匆挥别的2014年尚留余温,

新的2015年已经滚烫得快要了人命了。

滚烫得一夜来到了夏天。

今天,2015年4月1日,

这座城市的最高气温是31℃。

 

因为某个人在12年前的突然死亡,

12年前的这一天给除了这个人以外的很多人都留下了深刻的记忆。

原本应该和其他平凡的日子一样被卷入时间的洪流,不被标记的这一天,

从12年前事件发生后开始,就被单独拎出来陈列在了记忆橱窗内,

并在每年的这个日期到来之时,

例行给这段记忆的保管者做一次滚动展示。

也提醒这位保管者:你的生命余额又少去了一年。

 

这个日子总能联想到生与死,

特别是想到四天后就是清明节,

就觉得这个本该生机盎然的时节,也多了一些感伤的成分。

今年的清明节对我来说,应该也有特别的感触。

因为今年清明要第一次给外婆上坟。

不知不觉,外婆已经走了三个月零十天了。

 

外婆走了以后,外公也变得不太好了。

突然的疼痛,去医院一查竟是癌症晚期。

从1月28日开始住院,那张16号病床,

也许就是他此生最后一站的终点了。

每次去看他,他都变差一点,

从刚开始坐着跟我说话,到2月底只能躺着跟我说话,

到这个月,只能躺着,说不出话了,

再到这几天,连眼睛都睁不打开了,

一直处于半睡半醒的状态,人也越来越瘦。

也许每个人的一生都像一根蜡烛,慢慢燃着燃着,

燃到最后,燃尽了,化成一堆灰烬。

 

感到害怕,

不知道我还剩多少天的余额,

可以跟这个我喊作“外公”30年的人同在一片天空下。

不知道我还剩多少天的余额,

可以拥有一个名叫“外公”的亲人。

都说“但愿人长久”,可惜,只能是“但愿”。

 

Radical Face - The Crooked Kind

I heard you tellin' lies

I heard you say you weren't born of our blood

I know we're the crooked kind

But you're crooked too, boy, and it shows

 

Some get dealt simple hands

Some walk the common paths, all nice and worn

But all folks are damaged goods

It ain't a talk of "if," just one of "when" and "how"

 

So, collect your scars and wear 'em well

Your blood's a good an ink as any

Go scratch your name into the clouds

And pull 'em all... down

 

The thunder plays it's drum

The air is heavy with the smell of storms

And I sit beside my brother and I feel him shake

As he laughs himself right back to sleep

And I'm laughin' with him

 

But I smell their blood

My finger's trace their faces in the wood

I hear their voices somewhere in my bones

I feel them sing along when I'm alone

When I'm not too frightened that is when I know

 

That I'm here with everyone

They're never truly gone

I know it's everyone

And I hear their songs

 

Oh, I'm lost with everyone

Shadows dance around the room

I know their names

I carry their blood too

They sing forgotten songs

But I know the words

They've been with me since I was born

As I grew I danced with them too