前两天在豆瓣上看到Kate开始读《And Another Thing…》了,传说中的H2G2五部曲的续集。我就好像被点到一样大梦初醒,从书架上拿下那已经开始积灰的《The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy》大合集。这本八百多页的大书买来已经一年多了,可是我才读到第二部的中间,想想觉得非常惭愧。于是这几天每天半夜我都花一两个小时终于把第二部《The Restaurant at the End of the Universe》看完了。但是总觉得没有把笑点全部看懂,好多不认识的单词我也懒得查就囫囵吞枣地看下去,必然漏掉了不少笑点。所以我决定接下来的几本还是先去找中译本来看,等到以后英文水平突飞猛进了以后再来继续把这本原版K完。

当初在看完第一部《The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy》的时候就在犹豫要不要把觉得好笑的又“有哲理”的点总结一下,当时是打算五部看完全部一起整理的。现在想来这样的打算也未免有点太有野心,我还是先把前两本稍微总结一下(顺便可以把贴在书签上的即时贴整理干净)。下面摘录一部份我心目中好笑的闪光点。

One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious, as in It's a nice day, or You're very tall, or Oh dear you seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you alright? At first Ford had formed a theory to account for this strange behaviour. If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months' consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favour of a new one. If they don't keep on exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working. After a while he abandoned this one as well as being obstructively cynical and decided he quite liked human beings after all, but he always remained desperately worried about the terrible number of things they didn't know about.

England no longer existed. He'd got that - somehow he'd got it. Hetried again. America, he thought, has gone. He couldn't grasp it. He decided to start smaller again. New York has gone. No reaction. He'd never seriously believed it existed anyway. The dollar, he thought, had sunk for ever. Slight tremor there. Every Bogart movie has been wiped, he said to himself, and that gave him a nasty knock. McDonalds, he thought. There is no longer any such thing as a McDonald's hamburger. He passed out.

One of the major difficulties Trillian experienced in her relationship with Zaphod was learning to distinguish between him pretending to be stupid just to get people off their guard, pretending to be stupid because he couldn't be bothered to think and wanted someone else to do it for him, pretending to be outrageously stupid to hide the fact that he didn't actually understand what was going on, and really being genuinely stupid.

It said: "The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival, Inquiry and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why and Where phases.
"For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question How can we eat? the second by the question Why do we eat? and the third by the question Where shall we have lunch?"

--以上摘自Douglas Adams《The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy》

The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
Many races believe that it was created by some sort of God, though the Jatravartid people of Viltvodle VI believe that the entire Universe was in fact sneezed out of the nose of a being called the Great Green Arkleseizure.
The Jatravartids, who live in perpetual fear of the time they call The Coming of The Great White Handkerchief, are small blue creatures with more than fifty arms each, who are therefore unique in being the only race in history to have invented the aerosol deodorant before the wheel.

The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy notes that Disaster Area, a plutonium rock band from the Gagrakacka Mind Zones, are generally held to be not only the loudest rock band in the Galaxy, but in fact the loudest noise of any kind at all. Regular concert goers judge that the best sound balance is usually to be heard from within large concrete bunkers some thirty-seven miles from the stage, whilst the musicians themselves play their instruments by remote control from within a heavily insulated spaceship which stays in orbit around the planet - or more frequently around a completely different planet.
Their songs are on the whole very simple and mostly follow the familiar theme of boy-being meets girl-being beneath a silvery moon, which then explodes for no adequately explored reason.
Many worlds have now banned their act altogether, sometimes for artistic reasons, but most commonly because the band's public address system contravenes local strategic arms limitations treaties.

The next one was a big one and thirty yards long - a coach built limoship and obviously designed with one aim in mind, that of making the beholder sick with envy. The paintwork and accessory detail clearly said "Not only am I rich enough to afford this ship, I am also rich enough not to take it seriously."

"How can I tell," said the man, "that the past isn't a fiction designed to account for the discrepancy between my immediate physical sensations and my state of mind?"

--以上摘自Douglas Adams《The Restaurant at the End of the Universe》

上面这些没一个是我手敲的,好在网上quote资源很丰富,请见BBC H2G2Wikiquote某网上书


The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Douglas Adams