1、科学的分类(Science Classification)


  • 如果是绿色的或是在摆动,属于生物学的一部份;(If it's green or it wiggles, it's part of Biology)
  • 如果发臭,是化学;(If it stinks, it's Chemistry)
  • 如果得不到结果,属于物理学。(If it doesn't work, it belongs to Physics)


2、实验室工作者守则(Rules for Laboratory Workers)


  • 如果你不知道你在做什么,做得干净整洁点;(When you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly)
  • 首先画个曲线,然后描出你的数据;(First draw your curves, then plot the data)
  • 工作经验和损坏的仪器设备成正比;(Experience is directly proportional to the equipment ruined)
  • 试验必须要可以重复——它们应当以同样的方式失败;(Experiments must be reproducible. They should all fail the same way)
  • 数据记录非常重要——它们表明你一直在工作;(A record of data is essential. It indicates you have been working)
  • 有疑问的时候要让它们听起来很有说服力;(In case of doubt, make it sounds convincing)
  • 不要相信奇迹——要依赖它们;(Do not believe in miracles, rely on them)
  • 实验室里团队协作很重要——使你有其他人可以归咎;(Teamwork is essential in the lab. It allows you to blame someone else)
  • 当得不到结果时,要常常留有解释的余地。(Always leave room to add an explanation when it doesn't work)


3、菲内格定律、信条及座右铭(Finagle's Law, Creed, and Motto)


  • 第一定律——如果实验中有任何事情可以出错,就会出错;(First Law - If anything can go wrong with an experiments, it will)
  • 第二定律——不管预期的结果如何,总会有人愿意伪造它;(Second Law - No matter what results is anticipated, there is always someone willing to fake it)
  • 第三定律——不管发生什么,总会有人根据其钟爱的理论而相信它;(Third Law – No matter what occurs, there is always someone who believes it happened according to his pet theory)
  • 第四定律——不管是什么样的结果,总会有人急切地想去胡乱解释它;(Fourth Law – No matter what the result, there is always someone eager to misinterpret it)
  • 信条——科学是真理。不要被事实误导;(Creed – Science is truth. Don't be misled by facts)
  • 座右铭——微笑;明天会更糟。(Motto – Smile; tomorrow it will be worse)